PAILS, year 2

Every October SHARE teams up with Larkin Mortuary to hold the annual Walk To Remember. This is a small branch of the huge main walk in St. Louis. It was cold again, but this year no other services were being held, so we got to have the program inside.

This year's keynote speakers were Ortho Fairbanks and his sweet wife. While living in Hawaii and teaching at what is now BYU Hawaii they gave birth to a son, Hyrum. Hyrum passed away due to a heart defect at 19 hours old. They spoke about how they know, after 40 years, that talking about your precious child will never fail to bring a tear to your eye.

Ortho, years later, was approached through his son by Richard Paul Evans (author of The Christmas Box). Mr. Evans wanted Ortho to sculpt a statue like the one depicted in The Christmas Box. This statue would later be put in the Salt Lake City Cemetary. Now there are many worldwide.

After they spoke we did a musical number and headed outside for our walk. Then we got our balloons and this year they had Sharpies for us to write messages on. We all wrote messages (I wrote what teh kids wanted to say, I was worried they would press too hard and the balloons would pop. One by one they read the names off. This year Savannah was the third name. I wasn't prepared to have to let it go so soon.

THIS article was in The Deseret News, and here are some of my photos.

Waiting to get started..... (Farren never smiles in pictures)

Myrna and Ortho Fairbanks

A small version of the statue Ortho created.

Roses they had for each of the Mothers.

Balloons waiting to be sent for our babies to play with.

Aspen and Daddy walking for Savannah.

A family picture with our balloons for Savannah.

We miss and love her so very much!

I hate that she is missing from this picture.

Kyson's Balloon

Sage's Balloon.

Aspen's Balloon.

Farren's Balloon.

(I didn't even THINK to take a picture of mine. I wish I had)

Savannah's Balloons once we had let them go.
I love how they all stayed together, in a "family" grouping.

My rose I got since I am her Mother.

It is amazing for me to look at how much our family has changed in the last 18 months. Our marriage is stronger than ever before. I think we also have come to appreciate life in a way that many people can't. I would never wish this type of understanding on anyone, because what it takes to posess it, but I can look at things and see that we have taken them for granted in the past. Sitting up all night holding your son who can barely breathe through his croupe is a blessing. Having your schedual so jam packed because you are coaching football, being room parents and on PTA is a blessing.

We haven't "moved on" We never will. You don't get over things like this, and our Savannah Grace will always be the missing peice, but we have moved forward. If you had asked me at the Walk last year where we would be today, I would have never guessed here. I would have never guessed that we could come so far, and find such joy again in our family.

Savannah, we talk about you all the time. Sometimes Daddy and I will say DANG, Sav would be 18 months old now, or Sage will ask if she can mail you a letter in Heaven, and ask if you get to play with toys in Heaven, and if you like dogs. I see Aspen pointing out your things in your cabinet to her friends sometimes, and Kyson makes sure he doesn't golf in the living room so he won't break your things. We talk about how different our lives would be with you still here with us. Each time we talk about you, its with a few less tears and a few more smiles. Your beautiful face and your crooked ear, just like Daddy's. I think I am the odd ball out on that one, all of you have your Daddy's ear. Your perfect feet and the long long fingers. I have no doubt you would have been amazing on the piano.

We love and miss you Sav,

Love Mommy.