A Joyful Heart

Lately I have been thinking a lot about the attitude I have when I am doing yet another chore. Cooking yet another meal, washing another load of laundry, answering another phone call. Eventually these things become mundane, and I catch myself dreading the things I have to get done while my kids are at school. I would much rather have the kids home with me. Hearing the playful teasing as I beat Kyson at Yahtzee (again) Seeing my beautiful girls play house with their baby dolls, and everyone piled on each other as I read them the same stories I have since they were babies. (Where The Wild Things are (we've gone through multiple copies) You are My I Love You (my favorite) and Love You Forever get read more than every other book combined.) These are the things I love. Hearing the laughter, seeing the smiles, and soothing the tears.

The other side of Mothering is not my favorite. Washing clothes and scrubbing floors (Though my steam mop makes that a breeze) are things I often think I would be totally fine if I never had to do them again. But, when I think about it, I realize how easy I have it. All I have to do is push a button and my clothes are washed. So much easier than the mothers before me. More importantly, I am so very lucky to have the opportunity to do these things because I am so very fortunate to be a mother. From now on, I am trying to do these tasks with a smile on my face and a joyful heart.

This also collides with other areas of my life. I was having "volunteer burnout" After serving as PTA President for two years, (technically just one, but I filled in for one who disappeared) I stopped volunteering as often. I no longer had a happy spirit when I was there. Instead I felt like I was there more than I was home. I wasn't happy with it and my husband wasn't either. My kids would groan when they found out I had a school obligation. I knew I needed to serve with joy in my heart and I just couldn't get there. I realized, however, that there are other areas that I can serve others and by doing something new I wasn't feeling the burnout that I had been. It didn't matter WHERE I was serving, what matters is that I serve and serve joyfully. So I do. I took the kids and we worked at the Utah Food Bank. It was a great teaching tool for the kids, and I very much enjoy being there. We will be returning very soon. Teaching my children to serve others selflessly and with a joyful heart is important to me. There is so much more to life than what happens in our home. The world is such a large place, and we need to do what we can to help out, not because it is a requirement; but because we want to and it brings us joy.

When I find my children *gasp* fighting I usually start by saying something like "Remember to be loving and kind and happy to share" When I ask them to do something and they complain, I try to remind them they need to help out with a smile on their face and joy in their heart. Lately, however, I find myself reminding them ALL. THE. TIME. And it doesn't always work, especially with my son. I find myself getting more irritated than I should. This morning I was on the phone with my Mom and Sage was trying to talk to me. I'm embarrassed to say that while I didn't yell at her or anything, I didn't use the nicest tone of voice as I told her to wait, even though she knows better. I need to remember that when you are seven, (or 28) sometimes you forget the right thing to do, and manners are forgotten.

So this week I am going to work on doing the things I don't want to do with a joyful heart. Wether I am scrubbing a toilet or disciplining my children, I need to remember how lucky I am to have the ability to do both and it should be done with a good attitude and a joyful heart.

The Good Wife's Guide

What makes a good wife? An immaculate home? Always being "ready and willing"? A hot, 4 course meal on the table each and every night? Birthing 8 9 or 10 babies? Or is it more simple? Listening, sharing, friendship, and laughter among other things?

I specifically remember in Jr. High our home economics teacher, Mrs. Hales discussing the article I will put at the end of this. She spoke about how times have definitely changed and roles are more equal. Women have now *gasp* entered the work place. You don't see women vacuuming in high heels anymore, but, I'm hard pressed to think that was ever the way it was. You see it on Leave It To Beaver, but it just doesn't make sense. Did the fumes for the oven cleaner kill the brain cells? High heels and pearls while I scrub out my oven just seems so impractical. If I know it is a cleaning day, I usually stay in my jammies til it is done.

I think it takes so much to be a good spouse, and while none of the ideas on this list are bad ideas, (except for a good wife knows her place) they just don't seem to match today's woman and the needs of family. I think back then, Mothers weren't busy running Jane to gymnastics and Peter to soccer. Little Mary didn't ballet and Timmy Debate Club each night of the week.

Mom's today spend so much time playing chauffeur that often it is impossible to have those sit down dinners every night. When my children were small, lessons fell during the day, but now they are in school and any extra activities take place in the afternoons or evenings. Tonight Aspen had Activity Days and Kyson had Boy Scouts. They were home for 50 minutes together at the same time, so I had to make sure dinner would be ready as soon as Aspen came home so we could eat together before Kyson had to leave.

The last thing on my mind tonight was if my hair looked nice enough for my husband. I was too busy looking for the pan to cook the chicken in (it isn't where it goes for some reason) and checking on my cookie dough (which is STILL in the fridge) I needed to iron Kyson's scout shirt and make Aspen's hair presentable for her activity tonight. I never found the pan, so instead of Chicken Tetrazinni, we had pasta with Pesto sauce and garlic bread. Making these last minute changes ensured there was no way on Gods Green Earth that dinner would be on the table promptly at 5pm. We ate about 540, and it worked for us and that is life.

That is one of the reasons (besides cost) that I didn't feel too terrible that Kyson missed football sign-ups. I want our evenings back. My husband is back to working days, home at 415 each day. My children are all in fulltime school starting in two weeks. I will have no children home during the day to run around to playdates and swimming. There is no reason why a nice hot dinner shouldn't be on the stove each evening. I am looking forward to having our evenings back. No softball, no baseball, no dance, no football. Dinner and board games, dinner and books, just dinner and family time. (though Farren usually retreats to bed after dinner due to his work schedule.)

There are so many aspect's of the list that I want to embrace, and some that I want to yell at my computer about. For example..... the part where it says that his topics of conversation are more important than yours... Sometimes that may be so, but sometimes I just need to tell him something or get something off my chest. I listen to him, but he also listens to me. That is a mutual respect. I don't think he would like it very much if I didn't have any honest thoughts or opinions.

One aspect I love is just greeting him and making sure you are happy to see him. The day I dread seeing my husband walk through that door is not a day I can even imagine happening. Anyways, here is the list, judge for yourself. I know that there are aspects that SHOULD be followed, however, the day I stay quiet and don't mention if he just doesn't come home, well, that would blow the list out of the water. (not that he ever would) (It is not determined if this is a real piece from a text book or not)

Have dinner ready: Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal on time. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him, and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospects of a good meal (especially his favorite dish) are part of the warm welcome needed.

Prepare yourself: Take 15 minutes to rest so you will be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh looking. He has just been with a lot of work- weary people.

Be a little gay and more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and it is one of your duties to provide it.

Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives, gathering up school books, toys, paper, etc. Then run a dust cloth over the tables.

Prepare the children: Take a few minutes to wash the children's hands and faces if they are small, comb their hair, and if necessary, change their clothes.They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part. Minimize the noise: At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of washer, dryer, dishwasher or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet.

During the cooler months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order and it will give you a lift too. Afterall, catering for his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction.

Be happy to see him.

Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him.

Listen to him: You may have a dozen things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first-remember his topics of conversation are more important than yours.

Make the evening his: Never complain if he comes home late or goes to places of entertain,ect without you. Instead, try to understand that his world of strain and pressure and his very real need to be at home and relax.

The goal: Try to make your home a place of peace order and tranquility where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit.

Don't greet him with complaints or problems.

Don't complain if he is late for dinner or even if he stays out all night. Count this as minor compared to what he may have gone through in the day.

Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or have him lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him.

Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing, and pleasant voice.

Don't ask him questions about his actions or question his judgement or integrity. Remember, he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question him.

A good wife always knows her place.

A Love Hate Relationship

I have a Love-Hate relationship with laundry. I Hate doing it, but I LOVE what it represents.

I hate the endless cycle. I always have a ton to do. If it is all washed, I still have to fold, iron, and hang. It never ends. Tonight I was sticking yet another load in and suddenly started singing. (Yes, I do that sometimes, just burst into song like my life is a musical. Kyson's teacher's wife caught me singing to my nephew as we were grocery shopping. An embarrassing habit to say the least, especially since I can't sing worth a darn)

Anyways, I started singing "The Song That Never Ends" from Lambchops. I don't know why that one popped into my head, but, if you think about it; Laundry is the song that never ends. Those are the things I hate about laundry. The endless cycle. It isn't like cleaning a room. You can shut the door and keep people out so it stays clean. You can't keep people naked so you don't accumulate more laundry.

But, there are things that I love about laundry. I love what it symbolizes. It shows the growth of our family. I remember the very short period when Farren and I were first married, and I had two piles of laundry. One for me and one for him. It was so simple, maybe one load a week and we were good.

Then Kyson came along and our pile grew. Soon (very soon) afterward, Aspen came and once again our pile grew. Our piles stayed that way for almost 2 years before Sage added another pile of laundry. Now we are 5. 5 stacks of laundry. I love to see how much we have come since the days of two meager piles of laundry. Hopefully within the next year or so we will have 6 piles of laundry.

Ramblings

Last week Kyson and Aspen started school. Both are loving it, and their teachers. Kyson's teacher has two class pets. A snake and a tarantula. Yikes! So now the boys in class spend their afternoons catching things to feed it. Friday Kyson had two friends sleepover, and they were out catching all sorts of things for hours. Of course they would bring each catch in to show me. Yum! Good thing I have a full stash of baby food jars!

Aspen is loving second grade. She has all her friends back in her class, but this year she is separated from Kyson, which I am excited about. With them being in the same class last year (it was a split) they never got a break from one another, and the amount of fighting went from hardly ever to numerous times a day. She is so fun and quite the little lady. She loves to bake and made her first batch of brownies with no help (minus the oven) yesterday and they turned out great! I love that girl!

Sage enjoyed some Mom time this week, and also loved having Jesi back over to play. Those two are too cute together, the best of friends. We are so sad that Jesi and her family are moving away. Sage had her Kindergarten assessment on Tuesday, and did very well. She is SO excited to start school this Tuesday. I always sing silly songs with Sage, adding her name to the mix. Her favorite is the "sageycakes song" but I will make up silly songs and add her name in, or well known songs and slip her name in so it is about her. The other day I was singing with her and she smiles at me and says, "Mom, I don't really believe that every song you know has Sage in it" Busted!! She is such a joy and I can not believe she is in fulltime school now.

Last night I mashed strawberries, and this morning I tried my hand at making jam. Minus a burn on my finger (my pot wasn't deep enough) I think it turned out pretty well. I love hearing the POP that means you were successful! The kids were disappointed that all they got to help with was washing and cutting the stems off the berries, but it was just too hot for them to handle the jars or cook the jam. We will have to find another canning project they can help with. They all love being in the kitchen and helping with whatever they can. Hopefully in a few years they will still love it and they can each take a night cooking dinner!

Its a Beautiful Life

Its a Beautiful Life


Kyson was having a rough morning and chose not to participate as much as the girls, so you wont see him as often. (Click the picture)